“Can I please just poo in peace?” And other things you say to toddlers.

  Isaac has entered the toddler phase of his life. He is active, constantly moving, ever curious, and into everything. Doors and drawers have been locked down, sockets covered, and breakable items moved away from the edge of shelves. I find that I am constantly talking to him - explaining things, labeling objects, and providing a running commentary on my actions. Although said in all seriousness, sometimes I catch myself and realize the hilarity in what I’m saying. Here are a few of the things I’ve noticed:

  I often start many phrases with, “Isaac, we don’t eat/bite/lick...” This phrase can be finished with any number of items – the floor, the dog dish, the toilet, cords, rocks, dirt, shoes, dog food, mommy. I was at our pediatrician’s office the other day and Isaac started licking the scale. She told me not to worry about it as she cleans it once a day. I told her that “I’ve given up on germs”. I felt validated when she said that although we don’t know a lot about autoimmune diseases, there is a very low incidence in Africa and a high prevalence in North America. There is some thought that our hygiene practices here are contributing to the higher prevalence of these diseases. So, I’ve learned to choose my battles and that Isaac is just strengthening his immune system. I draw my line at the toilet though. Yuck.

I find it helpful to have the soother in when Isaac is outside. Helps cut down on the rock and dirt eating.

In my running commentary, I refer to myself in third person as “Mama” or “Mommy”. I had a friend over the other day who noticed that she had called herself Mama when talking with Isaac and then quickly corrected herself. We both laughed and recognized that this appears to be an instinctual thing that moms of young children do. Sometimes it’s hard to turn that off even when you’re speaking with children other than your own.

  “Can I please just poo in peace?” – Yes, this actually came out of my mouth. Isaac has some separation anxiety and does not like to be left alone. During the day, this means that I never shut the door, even when on the toilet. The idea of privacy now feels like a foreign concept to me.

  “I know you don’t like getting your diapers changed, but it’s a way of life right now”. Isaac hates being on his back and being stationary which means that diaper changes are difficult to say the least. There’s a lot of arching and loud complaints. I try to reason with him, but  surprisingly it doesn’t work (please, note the sarcasm).

  “Food goes in our mouth, not on the floor”. This is often followed by, “Isaac, Gibson doesn’t like broccoli”. Isaac has found that one of the best games is to throw food on the ground at mealtime and feed our dog, Gibson. Isaac screams with excitement and joy during this “game”. It’s hard to keep a straight face and not reward the behaviour. Unfortunately, Gibson is one of those rare dogs that is actually a picky eater so most of the food goes uneaten. Apparently, it’s also hilarious to watch mama clean up the food on her hands and knees. Not sure who’s training who here.

Mealtime is a messy affair.

  “Careful”. Markus and I often laugh at the fact that Isaac appears to barrel through life with little regard to his own safety. He seems to have no fear and often goes into situations head first even if this is down a flight of stairs. I’m not sure if my warnings to be careful are making any difference, but I feel like I should say something as I restrain my child yet again from diving head first off the couch.

  “What are you thinking?” I often wonder this aloud as Isaac goes off on a long string of babbling. Sometimes it seems as though he is trying to explain something to me. I only wish I knew what it was.

  I am often struck by how lucky I am to have such a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky child. As I text Markus with yet another funny anecdote of Isaac’s day, I can’t help but feel thankful for these happy times. Even if by the end of the day, I am ready to have some adult conversation and not worry about what the next thing is that Isaac might decide he would like to taste.