I’ve come to realize
that the “Terrible Twos” is a myth. I actually believe the terribleness starts
at around 13 months and from what I’ve learned from other moms continues past
three. Actually, some moms said that 3 was worse than 2. Now, I feel like I should
note before you all start judging me, that I love my son, I just don’t always
like what he does. In fact, some of the stuff he does do could be characterized
as “terrible”. Like yesterday, when he followed me around screaming and
attempting to bite my legs while I had a poo covered cloth diaper in my hands
that I was trying to deal with. Yup, that was terrible. Or when I try to take
him for a walk in the backpack and he thinks it’s absolutely hilarious to pull
my hair. Yup, terrible as well. My hair is already thin; I’m worried I’m not
going to have any left after this. I have to laugh because I remember my mom
saying to me when I was little, “I will always love you, but I don’t like what
you’re doing right now”. Totally understand that now.
Isaac has perfected what I am calling the “protester”. When I try to pick him up to take him away from something that he really wants, his response is to make his body completely limp. It brings images to me of protesters being dragged away by police. This production is usually accompanied by screaming. He is certainly demonstrating his independence now and has found a clear way to communicate his frustrations. I can’t wait for rationale thinking and verbal discussion, but we have a long way to go with that.
I know that Isaac is able to comprehend the word “No”, but as with many things, he is selective about following this command. To teach manners, we’ve started saying “Isaac, no thank you”. It somehow feels more difficult to yell when you add the “no thank you” at the end (even though after the fifth “No thank you” I’m ready to raise my voice). However, even with our polite requests, they are often useless. In fact, I think telling Isaac “No” only makes him want to do it more. He now looks at me with a smile before he does something that he knows is not allowed. It’s hard to keep a neutral response to his acts of defiance – either I’m trying not to laugh at his little devilish grin, feeling rage at my ineffectiveness, or just plain hopelessness.
On the positive side, I do love seeing Isaac’s personality developing even more. He is a determined little guy who knows what he likes. It’s great to see his preferences develop. Before I could choose any books I felt like to read to him. Now we have three that have been repeated multiple times the last few days. While I would like to move on to another book, mostly for my sanity, I do love that he has his favorites.
So in response to this new phase that Isaac has entered, I do what I often do and look to Google to solve all my problems. I learned that I should try to distract and control my environment, both of which we were already doing with minimal success. My second line of questioning was to my husband’s cousin’s wife, Andrea. She has a high energy, four year old boy and I’ve been seeing a lot of similarities between Isaac and Liam. As we sat down with a glass of wine together I described what Isaac had been doing and my feelings of frustration. I explained that I never imagined that I would feel like this as a mother. That I thought I would have endless patience (who was I kidding, patience has never been one of my virtues, but it’s always nice to dream). It was nice to have her confirm that yes, she is often similarly frustrated and that there is also not a whole lot you can do at this stage. You try your best, but it’s challenging and yes, it’s normal to relish when they go to sleep for naps and at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s so easy to blame yourself and think that you must be doing something wrong. It was so nice to hear it’s okay to feel like this is really hard and that the urge to pull your hair out is completely normal.
So, I guess I’ve got a long road ahead of me here with the “Terrible Ones, Twos, and Threes”. I should probably find something more healthy than wine as a coping strategy.
Isaac has perfected what I am calling the “protester”. When I try to pick him up to take him away from something that he really wants, his response is to make his body completely limp. It brings images to me of protesters being dragged away by police. This production is usually accompanied by screaming. He is certainly demonstrating his independence now and has found a clear way to communicate his frustrations. I can’t wait for rationale thinking and verbal discussion, but we have a long way to go with that.
I know that Isaac is able to comprehend the word “No”, but as with many things, he is selective about following this command. To teach manners, we’ve started saying “Isaac, no thank you”. It somehow feels more difficult to yell when you add the “no thank you” at the end (even though after the fifth “No thank you” I’m ready to raise my voice). However, even with our polite requests, they are often useless. In fact, I think telling Isaac “No” only makes him want to do it more. He now looks at me with a smile before he does something that he knows is not allowed. It’s hard to keep a neutral response to his acts of defiance – either I’m trying not to laugh at his little devilish grin, feeling rage at my ineffectiveness, or just plain hopelessness.
On the positive side, I do love seeing Isaac’s personality developing even more. He is a determined little guy who knows what he likes. It’s great to see his preferences develop. Before I could choose any books I felt like to read to him. Now we have three that have been repeated multiple times the last few days. While I would like to move on to another book, mostly for my sanity, I do love that he has his favorites.
So in response to this new phase that Isaac has entered, I do what I often do and look to Google to solve all my problems. I learned that I should try to distract and control my environment, both of which we were already doing with minimal success. My second line of questioning was to my husband’s cousin’s wife, Andrea. She has a high energy, four year old boy and I’ve been seeing a lot of similarities between Isaac and Liam. As we sat down with a glass of wine together I described what Isaac had been doing and my feelings of frustration. I explained that I never imagined that I would feel like this as a mother. That I thought I would have endless patience (who was I kidding, patience has never been one of my virtues, but it’s always nice to dream). It was nice to have her confirm that yes, she is often similarly frustrated and that there is also not a whole lot you can do at this stage. You try your best, but it’s challenging and yes, it’s normal to relish when they go to sleep for naps and at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s so easy to blame yourself and think that you must be doing something wrong. It was so nice to hear it’s okay to feel like this is really hard and that the urge to pull your hair out is completely normal.
So, I guess I’ve got a long road ahead of me here with the “Terrible Ones, Twos, and Threes”. I should probably find something more healthy than wine as a coping strategy.
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