The Great Soother Debate

To cork or not to cork

That is the question.

Before we left for Zambia, my Nan kindly suggested that I bring a “cork” for the baby. Because as she put it, it’s a long flight back and you’ll likely want a cork. When we first brought Isaac home and he started having trouble falling asleep at night, I had initially tried the soother, but as he had never used one before in the orphanage, he promptly spit it out and continued to cry. I have to say that in the moment, I was disappointed that we wouldn’t have the soother to fall back on when the rocking and shushing just weren’t cutting it.

In the baby literature, there seems to be some debate as to whether to use a soother or not. In my opinion, within reason, whatever helps your baby to sleep is the way to go. So while I’m not going to use a little whiskey on the nipple a la Zach Galifianakis on Bored to Death (hilarious series), I really don’t see the harm in using a soother. Sure there’s always the possibility of a soother addiction which we’ve seen with Markus’s cousin’s little girl – they eventually had to resort to a nipple cutting ceremony when the soother started to disintegrate from overuse. But, as my mom points out, you don’t see adults walking around with soothers in their mouths (except for that horrible soother phase in the nineties), so the majority of kids will give up the soother at some point.

Back to Isaac, things had been going really well after our bout of sleep training. I was starting to feel some real confidence as a mom. I felt like I really had the sleep thing figured out. Sure, naps were a disaster and Isaac had decided that 4am was a great time to start his day, but he was only waking up once in the night for a bottle which felt like a huge success. Then he started teething again and everything changed. He started waking up on the hour again, but surprisingly he had long naps during the day – probably from exhaustion. I was back to feeling hung over again (sleep deprivation feels surprisingly like waking up after a bad night of drinking) and trying not to pull my hair out from frustration. I would rock and rock and rock Isaac to sleep and then slowly lower him to his bed only for him to wake up and start crying again. One night in a moment of weakness, I just lay Isaac down on my bed while he screamed and put a bottle of water up to his mouth. I thought to myself, I can do no more, it’s up to you kid. Miraculously, he quieted and fell asleep. At the time, it felt like a huge discovery to me along the lines of penicillin or electricity (when you’re sleep deprived, things tend to get exaggerated). Then next night, I tried the same tactic only to find out that once the bottle of water was finished, he was back to crying again. So as a last resort, I tried the soother again. And …. silence. Glorious, peaceful silence. It was absolutely wonderful. Isaac had fallen asleep in his crib without me rocking him. Our household and I’m sure those of our neighbours were all breathing a sigh of relief. Until the soother fell out and he started crying again. But, I’ll take it. It’s much easier to pop that cork back in than spend 1-2 hours rocking a baby to sleep.

My new motto for this week is when in doubt, put a cork in it. Thanks, Nan.